


Her Perfect Life

by LemonadeReaction



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Affairs, Cheating, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/F, Marriage, Pregnancy, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:55:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonadeReaction/pseuds/LemonadeReaction
Summary: Over a year ago, Blair Waldorf made her choice, choosing to marry Nate Archibald. But as circumstances bring her old flame Chuck Bass back into her life, she starts to question why she made that choice, and if it was even the right one.With Serena and Dan's relationship progressing, and Nate talking of having kids, Blair begins to feel the pressure. How will she deal with all of these confusing feelings?
Relationships: Blair Waldorf & Serena van der Woodsen, Chuck Bass/Blair Waldorf, Dan Humphrey/Serena van der Woodsen, Nate Archibald/Blair Waldorf
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter One

_He smiled at me, his perfect teeth illuminating his face in the soft light of the candles which were placed around the room. I shivered as he softly kissed my neck, then ran his tongue down my chest to my right nipple. He grasped it with his soft lips, using his other hand to squeeze my inner thigh. I felt wetness pooling in my lilac satin underwear._

_“You are beautiful, Blair,” Chuck said, before kissing me passionately._

I jolted awake, feeling a cold sweat forming across my forehead and chest. I glanced at my alarm clock, and the LED display told me that it was half four in the morning. It was hours before I actually had to get up. 

I looked to my left side and saw Nate, my doting husband, still sleeping peacefully. 

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and slid my feet into my fluffy pink slippers. When I had walked into the safety of the bathroom, I let out a huge sigh. Why was I dreaming of Chuck? I was perfectly happy with Nate. Really. 

I pressed down the cold tap to turn it on, and delighted in splashing the cool water on my warm face. My cheeks still burned as I thought of the incredibly erotic dream I had just experienced. Pressing a white fluffy towel against my face, I tried to convince my brain that there was no reason why I should feel guilty. It was only a dream, and I was sure that normal people had sex dreams all the time. Just because I had had real life sexual experiences with the person in this particular dream, it did not mean anything. 

Tip toeing quietly across our hardwood floor, I climbed carefully into bed so as to not wake Nate, and sank into the satin covers. 

*** 

I woke later that morning to the smell of pancakes. Checking to make sure I had not missed my alarm, I sighed in relief when I realised it was only eight. I had two hours before I had to be at the atelier. 

Surveying the contents of my walk-in wardrobe, I decided that today called for a classic look. I chose a powder blue dress with a modest shape, and a pair of nude Pigalle Christian Louboutin heels. I admired my clothing decisions in the full-length mirror as I brushed my dark hair. 

Delighting in the noise my shoes made on the hardwood floor, I walked downstairs and entered the kitchen to see Nate standing shirtless, serving pancakes onto white china plates and arranging sliced strawberries on the side. 

“Blair, you’re awake.” Nate gazed at me, paying attention to my outfit. “I love those shoes.” 

I grinned. “Yes, because you bought them for me, right?” 

“And don’t I have great taste.” 

Sitting at the breakfast bar, I cut my pancake into quarters. The delicious combination of sugar and sharp lemon juice enveloped my tongue, and the strawberries were the perfect complement. Who knew Nathaniel Archibald was such a flavour connoisseur? 

After polishing off our breakfast, Nate kissed me goodbye as I left for my commute to work. The New York traffic had calmed a little by this time in the morning, but the streets were still busy. This city truly never rested. Hopping into my private car, I called to the driver. 

“The atelier, please.” 

“Yes Ms. Waldorf.” 

I relaxed into the soft leather seats, justifying my reasons for asking not to be called by my married name in my head for the hundredth time. To put it simply, I felt as though changing my surname to Archibald professionally would take away part of my identity. Besides, my company brand name was Waldorf Designs, so it was only right for the CEO of the company’s name to reflect that. 

After about twenty five minutes (a great time for Manhattan traffic), my car pulled up in front of the atelier. I thanked my driver and got out of the car. Climbing up the stairs on the side of the building, I noticed that my railing needed repainted. Making a mental note to contact a painter/decorator, I entered my place of work. 

Smiling, I took in everything that was going on around me. The release date for the Summer line was a mere two weeks away, and everyone was working hard to reflect that. Designers sat in the corner at a tall wooden desk, furiously scribbling adjustments in their notebooks for every piece in the collection. Seamstresses walked quickly by, carrying swathes of fabric in several materials and colours. 

“Good morning Ms. Waldorf.” Several of my staff greeted me, without stopping as they rushed to complete their tasks. 

Excitement bubbled in my chest as I anticipated the release of my latest line. The pride I had for this collection was unmatched by any of my others; there was just something so fresh and promising in this particular Summer collection. I had always adored this season. 

Suddenly, I heard the door open behind me, and was shocked when I spun around to see who my visitor was. 

Standing in the door frame, looking as polished as ever, was Chuck Bass. 


	2. Chapter Two

"Chuck. What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighbourhood." Chuck grinned cheekily at me, taking a step forward and glancing down at my chest.

His suit was dark navy, not black like I had thought when he was standing a little further away. His dark hair was gelled perfectly, looking almost messy but I knew for a fact that was deliberate.

"No, I'm messing with you," he continued. "I was wondering if you are going to Dan and Serena's brunch later."

Brunch? I could not remember being told about this. Nonchalantly, I checked my phone, and saw a group text from Serena stating 'Brunch at 1pm. You don't want to miss it xoxo'.

"Of course. At one o'clock, right?" I replied, acting as if I had known about it this whole time.

"Great. See you later then." He winked at me before spinning round and walking out the door.

It was only when he had left that I became aware of my pounding heart. What on earth was going on with me? I chose Nate. I loved Nate. Why did I feel like a school girl with some stupid crush? It must have just been because of the dream I had last night.

"Excuse me, Ms. Waldorf." One of my staff members scooted round me, carrying a metal box filled with green iridescent sequins, bringing me out of my daydream.

"How is the line coming along? Nearly finished, I hope?" I asked, using my respectful but demanding business voice.

"It will not be long," my head seamstress, Anna, called from the back, looking up from her sewing machine to answer. Her hearing must have been brilliant.

I nodded at her in acknowledgement, before taking a seat at my large oak desk. The desk was gifted to me by my father's husband, and varnished by my atelier staff. I took my handheld makeup mirror out of my Louis Vuitton handbag, and checked my makeup. Noticing my coral lipstick was fading slightly, I applied a fresh coat. It was my opinion that a working woman should always look her best.

I felt a faint buzz in my handbag as I was putting my lipstick back in. Noticing my phone screen light up with the new text symbol, I pulled it out of my bag. Nate had texted me, saying 'Can't wait to see you at brunch, beautiful x'. My heart felt like it was glowing. Nate had always been the sweetest boyfriend, and now husband!

I opened the top drawer of my desk, and pulled out a red leather bound notebook. The book contained all the sketches of garments I had imagined for this line. There was a feeling of pride in my chest, which made me smile. The love I had for these Summer designs was greater than any previous ones. I could not wait to reveal this to the fashionable people of New York.

Time flew faster than I expected, I hardly noticed any time had passed before my phone sent me a reminder of the brunch. Checking the time, I realised it was already quarter to one. With the lunchtime traffic, I was going to be late. I told my staff where I was headed, and stepped outside to call my driver. Before I had finished dialling, I heard a familiar voice call my name.

"Blair! I thought we may as well ride to the brunch together," Chuck shouted from the open window of his black limousine.

I was not sure if I trusted myself to be in such close quarters to Chuck today, but I decided it would look weirder if I declined. Smiling gratefully, I walked slowly down the stairs so as to not trip over in my heels, and stepped into the car after Chuck's driver opened the door for me.

"Chanel Mademoiselle?" Chuck enquired.

"Great observation." My eyes met his, and I quickly looked down, unsure why I suddenly felt embarrassed. I realised I liked that he paid close enough attention to notice which perfume I was wearing.

"I was thinking that we should start the party early, so I brought a little something." Chuck opened the minibar on his side, and pulled out a bottle of Dom Pérignon. We used to drink that after sex.

Presumably thinking the same as I was, Chuck winked at me. Leaning down to the fridge again, he pulled out two champagne flutes, as if he had already anticipated that I would say yes.

"I didn't actually agree", I began. "But yes. You know me well, Chuck Bass."

"Better than you even know."

He popped the cork from the bottle of Dom, jerking back a little as the drink fizzled over the top. He filled both glasses and handed one to me, before holding his up in his right hand.

"To being successful. And brunches," he said, laughing after he spoke.

"And to old memories," I said, speaking my mind without thinking.

"Yes. Only good ones, though."

I knew he was likely remembering the day I told him that I was going to marry Nate. Chuck spoke to neither Nate nor I for months after that.

I took a small sip of my champagne, closing my eyes as the bubbles danced on my tongue. Unexpectedly, visions of Chuck's naked body flashed through my head. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, as if he could read my mind.

I felt fabric graze past my knee, and noticed that Chuck's leg was in very close quarters to my own. Trying to appear casual, I shifted my weight so that my legs were a bit further from his, looking out of the window as I did so.

"We've arrived, Mr Bass," Chuck's driver called from behind the partition, before stepping out of the car and opening the door on my side. "Ladies first."

"Thank you." I smiled sweetly, acting as if I had not had impure thoughts swirling in my head mere moments ago.

"You're my driver. Though luckily I have never minded Blair's needs being put above my own."

I could feel Chuck's eyes almost burning into my ass. What the hell was going on today? Was this all just some weird dream?

Chuck and I walked up the stone steps the hotel where the brunch was being held, side by side. When we stepped in, I spotted Nate by the buffet. He smiled at me, his piercing blue eyes full of love. I walked over to him, and cast a cursory glance over the buffet table.

I had to hand it to Dan Humphrey. Despite coming from a... less than privileged background, he certainly had good taste when it came to food. The white clothed table was full of delicious looking food. Golden brioches, large red strawberries, and kiwi and granola tarts were among the offerings.

"You look even more gorgeous than you did this morning." Nate kissed me on the cheek and handed me a glass of prosecco.

I took a sip. It had nothing on the Dom Chuck and I had been drinking in the limousine. I decided not to mention this to Nate. It took him time to trust me, and I did not want him to be upset unnecessarily. Nothing was going on. There was no need to say anything.

"Blair! I missed you." I recognised my best friend's voice immediately.

"Serena!" I turned around and gave her a hug. Her long blonde hair smelled faintly of strawberries and appeared a little lighter.

She must've noticed that I was looking at her hair as she said "Yes, I got some highlights put in. I thought it would look more Summer-y."

"You look amazing," I told her.

It was true. Her tresses shimmered under the light of the chandeliers, and her white wrap dress and metallic golden strappy heels were a perfect combination. There was no denying that my best friend was beautiful.

"Anyway, I am about to make an announcement." Serena looked so elated, I wondered what could possibly have made her even happier.

"What? Tell me!" I was irritated that she had not told me sooner.

"I'm about to tell everyone. I just need to find Dan."

Serena swiftly walked off. I noticed her grab Dan by the arm and whisper something in his ear. He cocked his head to the side as if he was asking "Right now?" Then he gave a nod. Serena had always had a way with members of the male species.

Serena picked up a silver dessert fork and tapped it on the side of her glass, making a _tink tink_ sound. The chatter in the room shrank to silence as everyone hushed their companions.

"Thank you everyone for coming to our brunch today," Serena began. "Dan and I have a very special announcement... we're pregnant!" Serena looked so happy I thought she might burst.

What? _What?_ She was pregnant and she didn't tell me? Why wouldn't she tell me? I was supposed to be her best friend. I would've thought she would have told me right away. I felt betrayed.

I turned around and walked out of the hotel, not looking back.


	3. Chapter Three

"Blair, wait! Where are you going?" Nate ran up behind me and grabbed my upper arm.

"Home! I cannot believe my best friend didn't tell me she was pregnant. We've always shared everything." I felt my face grow hot.

"It's she and Dan's secret. It is up to both of them when they tell people. You cannot hold this against her, Blair."

"You don't know anything about it, just leave me alone. I'll see you at home," I snapped.

I walked down the steps as fast as my heels would allow, and hailed a taxi. I was too angry to wait around for my driver. I had to be alone right now.

I gave the driver my address and looked out of the window. My phone vibrated in my bag, most likely Nate calling to ask me to come back. I ignored it.

When the taxi pulled up outside my apartment, I handed the driver a bunch of cash. I had no idea how much taxis cost, and it was not like I needed to tighten my purse strings. I walked away without saying thank you and stormed into my apartment.

"Ughh," I screamed with indignation. Partially because Serena kept a secret from me for the first time in years, but also because I was unsure exactly why I was so angry about this. And why the hell was I so angry at Nate? He hadn't done anything wrong.

I checked my phone, and saw that I had four missed calls from Nate. I sent him a text saying 'sorry for being so bitchy. Need some time to cool off. See you later on, love B xo'.

After sending the text, I scrolled down the notifications and saw that I also had a text from Chuck. Weird, Chuck and I had not texted in... a long time. Timidly, I opened it, and it read 'loved our catch up in the limo. Brought back loads of fun memories ;). You looked great too.'

Wink face? Really? What the hell was he doing? Why was he doing this now?

I realised my feet were hurting so I kicked off my high heels. Thinking that it had been a while since I'd had the flat to myself, I decided to have a relaxing bath. I walked upstairs to the en suite and turned the bath taps on, fiddling with the intensity until the combined temperature of the water was the perfect level of warmth. I poured in some jasmine scented bubble bath, and lit a 'peony and blush suede' scented Jo Malone candle I had bought on my last trip to London.

When the bath had reached that perfect height (not overflowing but deep enough to sink into and be enveloped by the warmth of the water), I took off my dress and underwear and stepped into it. After rolling up a white Egyptian cotton hand towel to place behind my neck, I reclined in the bath, closing my eyes for a moment. The bubble bath was high quality, so the water felt like silk against my bare skin.

The image of Chuck's text flashed into my head. What memories was he talking about? It must have been the same ones which had crossed my mind when I was sitting so close to him in his limousine. Memories of him undressing me, kissing my neck, brushing his fingertips across the soft skin of my inner thigh... I was brought out of my reminiscing when I realised that I was touching my inner thigh in real life.

Suddenly feeling a little frisky, I decided that since I was alone there was no harm in making the most of that. I read one of my favourite pieces of online erotica (a story about lesbians meeting on holiday abroad and having a very sensual fling), then grabbed my pink bullet vibrator from one of my makeup bags which I kept under the sink. Lying back in the water, I pressed the on button of my vibrator and started rubbing it around my vulva. Thank god I sprang for the waterproof vibrator. I moved it around my labia and onto the sweet spot - the clitorus.

It took me about five minutes to realise I was moaning out loud. I also realised that the images I was picturing in my head were not of Nate touching me... they were of Chuck. Did this count as cheating? No... it was not like Chuck was actually here. It was the same as a guy jerking off to some random people on porn. Exactly. No physical contact, no cheating, nobody gets hurt. I moaned louder as an orgasm wracked my body, shivering in the bath water which was losing its warmth by this point.

I stepped out of the bath and squeezed my hair with a soft towel as the water drained. Wrapping my ivory telling robe around me, I slid my feet into a pair of sliders and walked through to the bedroom. The sound of a key in the lock downstairs told me that Nate had arrived home.

"How was the rest of the brunch?" I asked nonchalantly, as if I had not been fantasising about his best friend.

"It was fine. But I do wish that you had stayed. Serena was quite upset that you just left like that."

I began to feel slightly guilty. Pregnancy is a wonderful thing. I shouldn't have acted like such a diva at Serena and Dan's special event.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was a bitch."

"I know. I got your text." Nate smiled at me. "Don't worry, I knew what I was getting myself in for when I married you."

He leaned into me and kissed me on the neck. "You smell amazing."

Of course, jasmine is an aphrodisiac. I did not buy that bubble bath randomly. I had been proud of how comfortable I was with my own sexuality since I lost my virginity to Chuck in his limousine. God, why was I thinking of him again? I was with Nate. Nate, who was right here kissing my neck and starting to trail his hands down the rest of my body.

Without meaning to, I recoiled from his touch. What was I doing? He was my husband. And very sexy.

"Is something wrong?" His face was twisted with concern.

"No. I'm fine. Totally fine. Just not really in the mood. Can we watch a movie instead?"

"Sure. Do you wanna get take out? There's a new sushi place a few blocks away." Nate grabbed his jacket, already knowing my answer.

"Sounds perfect."

Nate left the apartment, and I flopped down on the bed. What was going on with me? Why was my head suddenly obsessed with Chuck Bass? This just did not make sense. Getting up, I considered whether to get dressed into day clothes again. No. We were having a night in. Might as well wear something comfy.

I selected a black satin night dress from the bottom drawer of my chest of drawers, and blow dried the dampness from my hair using the cool setting. I picked up the remote control and put my television and DVD player on.

Nate returned shortly after with our food.

"Did you pick a movie?" he enquired.

"Yes. Breakfast at Tiffany's."

Nate grinned. "One of your favourites."

We sat side by side on the bed, watching the film and eating sushi, as the guilt of my thoughts and fantasies ate away at my conscience.


	4. Chapter Four

The sun streamed through the grey clouds of New York city. This was typical of a late Spring morning. Serena and I still hadn't spoken since the brunch a few days ago. I was beginning to worry about our friendship.

Nate noticed I was awake and rolled to face me on the bed.

"Good morning. Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Just thinking about Serena. I feel worse every day."

"Just message or call her and apologise. What's the worst that can happen?"

I opened my mouth to reply, then considered that he was actually right. Worst case scenario, she ignored me. We had been best friends for years, there was no way something as stupid as this was going to completely ruin our friendship.

I sat up in bed and grabbed my phone to compose a text. I wrote 'hey S. I'm really sorry for the way I acted the other day. I guess I was just shocked that you didn't tell me your news first. Then again it is up to you and Dan when you share something like that. I'm sorry I was so self centred. Hope we can meet soon and talk it over? B xox'.

I read my text aloud to Nate.

"That's my girl. You've apologised. I'm sure things will work out. The two of you have got over worse."

He was definitely right. I knew in that instance that we were both thinking of the same thing: when Serena took his virginity and he lied about it to me. I thought I would never forgive Serena for sleeping with my boyfriend. I genuinely thought that was the worst thing that could possibly have happened in my life at that point. But we got over it. Just like we will get over this.

"I'm cooking us breakfast. What would you like, Mrs Archibald?"

That name still sounded so strange to me. I still used my maiden name at work and asked my staff to call me Ms. Waldorf. Even though, for all legal purposes, my name was Blair Archibald.

I had almost forgotten that Nate was standing there waiting for my reply when he looked at me expectedly and said "Blair? Breakfast?"

"Sorry, I was in my own world for a moment. Egg's Benedict, please."

"Coming right up!"

I smiled at my husband's enthusiasm. He was always so energetic in the mornings. My God and that body - his abdominal muscles were a work of art. A wave of smugness washed over me as I thought about how lucky I was. How so many people would kill to have what I did.

So why was my mind wandering? Why, after more than a year of choosing and marrying Nate, was my brain so determined to force me to keep thinking of Chuck god damn Bass?

I stretched my arms as I yawned. I had definitely had enough sleep, but my brain had been so overactive the past few days that I actually did feel a little tired. I walked across to my walk in wardrobe and continued until I was standing less than a foot away from my mirror. I studied my eyes closely, looking for signs of fatigue. They were not bloodshot, but there was a slight grey tinge just underneath them. Nothing a bit of concealer wouldn't fix.

I decided I would dress in light colours today. If I did end up meeting Serena later on, I wanted to look approachable. I did not want to fall out with her. To convey this, I selected a lemon yellow knee length dress with a soft hem which would swirl a little when I walked. Now, shoes - which shoes said 'you are still my best friend and I love you'? A pair of white kitten heels? No - espadrilles. Simple, comfortable, perfect.

After showering and getting dressed, I applied a light layer of makeup, taking extra care with my foundation and concealer.

When I walked into our kitchen, I noticed the room was very bright. Nate had rolled our blinds right up, our huge floor to ceiling windows being used for their real purpose - to provide a full-impact view of the stunning New York skyline.

"Breakfast is served." Nate gestured to two plates on our breakfast bar. 

Hopping onto one of the stools, I examined my plate. The eggs had been lightly poached, and the hollandaise sauce looked like thick melted butter. Nate was getting better at cooking all the time.

The food tasted even better than it looked. Nate and I ate in silence, taking in the views of the city outside.

When I was nearly finished, Nate cleared his throat as if he was trying to get my attention.

"So, has Serena replied to you?"

"Oh, I'm not sure." I pulled my phone out and saw that in fact, she had. "Yes, she has."

The message read 'I understand, B. Would love to meet for a chat. Chuck's new hotel has a beautiful lounge which I heard has great food and drinks. Will have to be non-alcoholic for me, of course. Let's meet real soon for a talk. Love S xox'.

After reading the message aloud to Nate, I swivelled round in my seat and told him I was going to head out. For some reason, the mention of Chuck's name in the message had got me all hot and bothered. I hoped that my cheeks did not look as red as they felt.

I grabbed my favourite white jacket (made from a lightweight cotton fabric) and all but ran out the door.

I had not even arranged to meet Serena yet, but I just had to get away from that kitchen, away from my apartment, away from... Nate.

The morning air was cooling and welcoming on my warm face, and I closed my eyes for a few seconds to breath it in. Being out of the apartment was already doing wonders for my quickened heart rate. I took a walk round the block, taking in the city before the streets became packed with traffic. Cherry blossom trees were blooming beside an apartment block close to mine, and their beauty caused a smile to creep onto my face.

Arriving back at my block, I sent a text to Serena, agreeing to meet and asking her for the address of this hotel. She replied a minute later, and I was relieved. Serena and I had always spent several hours together every time we met, even if we had planned for a 'quick chat'. This would give me even more time to set my head straight.

I walked back into my apartment, and saw Nate putting pans into the dishwasher, now dressed in a chic black suit.

"I'm heading to work now." He did not look at me as he spoke, so I couldn't gauge how he was feeling.

Was he angry with me? I couldn't blame him really. I would be more than a little bit confused and angry if someone had just ran out on me with no explanation. There was no way he could know that the mention of Chuck was the reason I left, right? Maybe he would just think I was nervous about seeing Serena after leaving the brunch so abruptly.

Sighing, I took my jacket off and hung it back on its hook. I brushed a stray hair out of my face as I walked over to our drinks cabinet. The first thing I saw when I opened it was a bottle of scotch. Chuck's preferred drink. That would do just fine for this situation. I selected a whiskey tumbler from the glass cupboard above the drinks cabinet, and poured in about two shots of the scotch. Or maybe it was three. I had never been particularly good at eye-balling measures.

I drank the alcohol in a few gulps. About five minutes later, my head got that familiar buzz that alcohol always gave me. Better stop at that one drink. Showing up wasted would not look good when I try to apologise to Serena.

I sent her a text asking if she would be up for meeting within the next hour or so. She replied about ten minutes later, saying that would be fine. Despite our fight, I felt a flicker of excitement about seeing my best friend. Even before the brunch, we had not seen too much of each other as of late. She was busy managing her stocks in real estate, and I was busy at the atelier, both designing and running the place.

Deciding that I had better go to the hotel first to see if Chuck was actually on the premises, I shrugged on my jacket and picked up my handbag before heading out the door again. I called my driver, and he arrived in less than five minutes.

"Royalton hotel, please," I told my driver as I stepped into the car.

"Mr Bass's newest asset?" I was taken aback for a moment. Somehow I didn't imagine that our staff played much attention to our lives.

"Yes." I added hurriedly "Serena suggested it."

"I hear it is lovely. Not too far from here at all either."

He was right. In less than ten minutes, we were outside the hotel. The architecture was attractive. I knew that the inside would be even more stylish, if Chuck had had any say in the interior design.

Feeling a rush of nerves as I approached the automatic doors, I clasped my bag closer to my body. Somehow, knowing that Chuck could be here excited me, despite the fact  
I did not at all want to feel this way.

Still, I was hopeful that these odd feelings would dissipate soon.


	5. Chapter Five

It took me longer than it should have to find the lounge area I had agreed to meet Serena in. When I finally stumbled out of the elevator onto the right floor (I thanked _God_ I had chosen my comfortable espadrilles), I was feeling quite embarrassed at my terrible sense of direction. The carpet in the lounge was softer than I expected, so my feet sank into it slightly with every step I took.

I sat in one of the velvet-backed chairs beside the window, and looked down at the street outside. The road was mostly a clamour of taxis and limousines, the same type of limousine that Chuck owned. I snapped out of my daydream when I realised a waiter had approached me.

"Would you like to order anything, Miss?" he asked politely.

I considered this. Should I go for alcohol? Why shouldn't I? I'd just order one which takes a bit longer to drink. Maybe some champagne.

"A glass of Dom, please." I knew the bar would have a good stock of this, knowing Chuck's fondness for it.

"Certainly."

I watched the waiter as he walked off, admiring Chuck's choice of uniform for his staff. The pale turquoise ties were rather striking against the stark white shirts.

The interior of the lounge was as beautiful as I had imagined too. Dark green paper lined the walls, and the plush carpet was an attractive shade of deep plum. Ornate stained glass shades covered bulbs which were attached to the walls, creating a multi-faceted glow over each table. I was not sitting too close to the bar, but I could still make out a large array of quality branded liquors. Though I never would have expected Chuck Bass to settle for anything less than the best.

As the waiter placed the champagne flute containing my drink on the mahogany table, my phone buzzed with a message notification. It was Serena, telling me she had arrived. I quickly scanned the room but could not see her. The lounge was starting to become busy, as people began to filter in for lunch. I texted Serena back the location of my table, and pretty soon I noticed the top of her blonde hair through the crowds. In that moment, I was thankful for her model-esque height.

"Serena!" I called out to her, and her eyes darted round the room before landing on mine.

She quickened her pace, and was soon standing beside the chair opposite mine.

"I'm so glad you agreed to meet me. Please, sit down," I told her.

She smiled, that same smile I had known since we were young girls. She pulled out her chair and sat down, before shrugging off her dark maroon-coloured coat which was only a few shades more red in colour than the carpet.

"Before you say anything, I just want you to know that I one hundred percent know that what I did at the brunch was stupid and immature. I'm so sorry, I should have congratulated you right away on your wonderful news." I spoke as soon as she sat down, wanting to get my apology off my chest.

"Blair, don't worry about it. It is forgotten. I know you are happy for me." Serena clasped my hands and smiled warmly.

"So... I'm forgiven?"

"Of course!"

"Well... great! So, tell me about your pregnancy. Was it planned? How long have you and Dan known? How far along are you?" My questions came tumbling out with no filter.

"Well firstly, I've known for a few weeks now. We weren't actively trying but we weren't being too careful either. Dan was elated when I got the positive test, so I have a feeling he had wanted this for a while. I'm only nine weeks along, we recently had an early scan to check that everything was as it should be for this stage - pregnancy in the right place and strong heartbeat, really." Serena looked as though the day she discovered that all was as it should be right now had taken a huge weight off of her shoulders.

"And... why the brunch? Why did you announce it so publicly? And why didn't you tell me first?" My voice trailed off towards the end of my last question.

"We just wanted to tell all our friends and family at the same time, so that it didn't look like we were hiding anything from anyone. With regards to not telling you first, we have only just found out that the baby seems to be healthy, for now. I did not want to say anything just to have to tell you that actually, the baby was not okay. I understand how you felt though, as we have always shared our secrets."

She made perfect sense. I felt silly and immature.

"Anyway" she continued. "Enough about all of that, Dan and I have completely forgiven you. How are things with you? How's Nate?"

"Things are great. Nate is great. My new line will be done soon, I'm so proud of it." I stopped for a moment to consider whether I should tell her about these crazy feelings I had been having. She wouldn't judge me, would she? It's not like she had anything against - 

"Chuck!" Serena's cheerful greeting pulled me out of my thoughts.

Had she been reading my mind? I turned to see where she was looking, and immediately turned back round when I noticed Chuck walking toward us.

"Afternoon, ladies." He smiled that perfect smile, the one that had always made me shiver with desire. "You don't have a drink Serena. Can I get you a cockta- oops nearly forgot! Perhaps a mocktail?"

"A juice would be great, actually. Do you have any mango?" she asked him.

"Of course I do. Would you expect any less from a Bass hotel? I'll send one of my staff over with it." He turned to me and smirked slightly. "Great to see you, Blair."

Before I could open my mouth to give a proper reply, he strutted off again in that confident way he always had. I had always found it rather sexy.

I took a sip of my champagne, realising that the glass was nearly empty. I had been drinking it absent mindedly since Serena called out Chuck's name. Great, I couldn't even handle hearing his name now without wanting to down copious volumes of alcohol.

The same waiter from earlier approached us carrying a silver tray. He placed a tall highball glass of mango juice down by Serena's hand, and placed another champagne flute on the table by me in which I already knew the contents before he spoke.

"Another glass of Dom Pérignon for you, Miss. Courtesy of Mr Bass." He took a step back to address both Serena and I at the same time. "He said your whole bill for today will go on the management account. Enjoy your drinks, ladies."

"Aw, isn't that nice of him." Serena picked up her glass and took a delicate sip.

"So," I said, desperate to break the silence and get rid of the horrible guilt that was building in my body. "Have you had any symptoms yet? Any sickness?"

"Surprisingly, no. I expected to, as my mom always told me this was one of her first symptoms. I've been okay so far, though." She paused, then added "it actually worried me before I had the scan."

I smiled inwardly at the image of Lily Van der Woodsen throwing up. She always seemed so elegant and put together, the image of her being pregnant, nauseous and cumbersome just did not make sense in my head.

It was not long before my thoughts wandered back to my dilemma of the heart. However, chatting with Serena allowed me to push these intrusive thoughts to the back of my head, so that they were not so consuming. The distraction was welcome.

Some time passed, then suddenly Serena's phone beeped with her familiar text tone. I looked at her with interest, curious to know who had texted.

"It's Dan," she said, with a slightly petted lip. "He wants me to come home for dinner. You don't mind, do you? We have been here a while. It is almost five o'clock already!"

"Not at all. Go be with your man." I grinned at her, genuinely happy. I was also jealous. Jealous that she seemed so content with her relationship, whilst I was questioning my own in every waking moment.

We hugged before she sauntered out the door, leaving a cloud of Marc Jacobs perfume. I sat back down and thought about whether to go home now or have one more drink. I'd had another two glasses of Dom since we were informed our bill was taken care of. What harm would another do? I _was_ feeling slightly on the verge of tipsy, but it was that happy, fuzzy feeling. The feeling which probably made alcohol so successful in the first place.

I raised my hand when a waitress was walking by, and she approached quickly when she noticed.

"What can I get for you?" she asked. Her voice was charming, as if she had been in this industry for several years and knew exactly how to address guests.

"One more glass of Dom, please."

She nodded at me and headed off to the bar. I watched her take the cork from a new bottle, and tip a fresh champagne flute diagonally as she filled it. She placed the glass on a silver tray, and walked back over to me, carrying it.

"Your champagne." She ducked down a little to place it on the table, and I noticed that she was quite tall for a woman.

I sipped my champagne, feeling a little more fuzzy in the head. I was enjoying my own world of peace and bubbles, when I heard my name being called by an all too familiar voice.

"Hello Blair. Where's Serena?" Chuck still looked immaculate, when I knew for a fact he would have been busy all day over-seeing the operations of his new hotel.

"She left." I tried not to make eye contact as I answered, knowing it would be difficult to mask my attraction.

"But you're still here. Alone. Why?"

"I felt like having one more drink."

"Nothing wrong with that." He looked as if he was going to reach towards the hand I had resting on the table, then thought better of it.

I could smell his cologne from where I was sitting. It seemed to enhance his pheromones. God, why was I noticing this? I shouldn't have been taking notice of anyone's pheromones other than Nate's.

"So... this hotel is pretty great," I said pathetically, trying to break the tension.

"Thank you. I'm very proud of it." He looked hesitant, then said "Blair, why are you really still here? Did you want to see me?"

I was taken aback by how forward he was. The _arrogance_ too, as if somehow I couldn't get him out of my head. Though, he was right. Despite myself, I had hoped to see, and interact with, him again.

"Maybe," I managed to mutter.

"I have to tell you something, Blair. Can you meet me in the penthouse? Take the lift to the top floor, then walk straight down the hall and take the first right. The double doors leading into it are unmistakable."

Without waiting for my response, he got up and walked out of the lounge, and I heard the faint _ding_ of the lift being called.

He had invited me to his room. Why? Why now? There was no way I was actually meeting him in there. That would be wrong. Wouldn't it? Perhaps I could just go and tell him that he had it wrong, that I wasn't thinking of him like... that. That I was perfectly content in my life with Nate.

Yes. That was what I would do. Walk into the penthouse, let him down gently, then walk out and go back home to my wonderful husband.


End file.
